Ghost of You
by Grannanatlanta
Summary: AU Tony realizes some things and comes to a conclusion that he must take control of his future before it is destroyed by the person he was supposed to trust the most. Little Tony. Not a slash.
1. Ghost Of You

**GHOST OF YOU**

**Tony and Gibbs Father and Son, NOT A SLASH**

**Summery: AU Tony realizes some things and comes to a conclusion that he must take control of his future before it is destroyed by the person he was supposed to trust the most.****Little Tony.**

**P.S. I realy like the Tony Sr. they have made on the show so to not taint his aboutness I'm changing Tony's father to Mike DiNozzo just in this story.**

**I DO NOT OWN NCIS OR THE SONG**

**So now enjoy and tell me what you think.**

~*NCIS*~

_Turn my back, to the door_

Tony adjusted the strap of his book bag over his shoulder, he took one last look at his childhood home. Well if you could call it that he never really ever called it home.

_Feel so much better now_

As he reached the gate at the end of the drive he saw Jimmy, his dad's gate guard asleep to the sounds of a football game in the back ground. Tony shook his head at the sad security detail that his dad had. He then took a right and left the place for good.

_Don't even try, anymore_

Though his dad had tried many time during his youth to get him to be just like him, rarely tries at all anymore if at all. After all the verbal abuse, and yes even sometimes the physical abuse, Tony wanted nothing to do with his father.

_Nothing left to lose_

Taking a right at the road he started on his hike to the closest transportation system that he had enough money to pay for. Just himself a twelve year old boy and a bad of things to fight the streets of New York for the night. Hopefully though he wont have to do much of the actual fighting he made sure to dress in the most casual and less expensive clothes he had. Which was actually his best friends Tommy's clothes since he asked him a day before hand for the clothes. For the last weekand he heard his dad talking over the phone to a lawyer about taking him out of the will. To say that Tony was Hurt was an understatment, but then he also heard him talking about sending him to military school and Tony could not and would not handle that very well at all, so on the short notice that he had Tony packed what he needed left what he wanted and cut off all ties. Nothing left to loose now.

_Theirs a voice thats in the air, _

_saying dont look back no where (no way?)_

_Theirs a voice thats always there..._

After making it to a subway system Tony got on the one that would take him to the closest airport out of this hell hole. But the further he got the more he got a little scared that maybe he was being naive, maybe he was over reacting. But then a soothing feeling came over him and he could have swore that he heard someone tell him everything would be alright, but when he looked around because of how late or early 'he wasn't sure' it was there was no one in there with him.

_And I'll never be,__ quite the same, __as I was before this_

Tony realized that now that he cut off all ties to his father he had to change, he had to start taking care of himself. Because of his young age no one would hire him, or they would but would rip him off for money. He knew this city too well, so he had to go someplace ells.

_Part of you, still remains, though its out of focus_

He has over five hundred dollars cash halve is what he had saved from the butler giving him money everyday from his father, he never did know why he kept giving him cash he just saved it. The other half is from his fathers stash, he known's that if he were to ever get caught his father would consider that steeling and probably more then likely beat him to a pulp. Tony remembered a time when his mother was still living that his father wasn't so bad in fact he was more of a father then, then he was someone to fear, and that's what he was to Tony, Someone to Fear.

_Your just somewhere that I've been,_

Tony could just imagine his dad, as he woke up realizing that some of his money is missing and then the nanny come running in saying that so is his son. Tony smiled as he entered the Air Port. He went over to the flights to see which he could take and how much it would cost.

_And I wont go back again_

_Your just somewhere that I've been..._

Tony came up to the both that the nice lady was at selling tickets.

"Excuse me I would like a one way ticket to Washington DC please." Tony said placing the right amount of money down that would get him there. The lady smiled at him probably thinking he was meeting his other parent or relative on the other end of the flight. Well technically he was he just hasn't told him yet. The lady told him they were boarding now so Tony ran to get on.

_I'm breathing in, breathing out_

Tony sat in his seat and buckled up for the take off, he breathed a sigh of relief that he made it so far.

_Aint that what, its all about?_

This is how he will be different from his father, independent, better.

_Livin life, crazy loud_

Tony was going to make something of himself, make himself be someone special not just some business scum but someone who helped other people.

_Like I have the right to_

He had a right to be who he wanted to be this was just him grasping at it and not letting go no matter what or who got in the way.

_Know my words, in my mouth_

Though he only knew one person in Washington DC he knew he couldn't go see him not at first maybie later when he's on his feet. For he knows that that person would more then likely send him right back home or hand him over to the cops, and or a social worker.

_Nothing left to figure out_

Tony felt the plane take off and knew there was no going back now, he's made a decision for the rest of his life he will have to live with the consequences no matter good or bad.

_But I don't think I'll ever break through_

Thinking about those consequences brought some not so good memory back and Tony flinched at them. He then placed his hand over his right cheek and slid it up to his eye. Remembering a time when the same eye was swollen shut, in fact it was swollen so much the doctors were afraid he wouldn't be able to see out of it again. Tony let out a shaky breath and tried to forget what his fathers drunken eyes looked like.

_The ghost of you..._

Tony looked out of the window at the clouds below and just watched.

_Wear your memory like a stain,_

Even though he tried, more and more memory's of his fathers drunken or not so drunken fits kept flittering across his mind.

_Cant erase none of the pain _

And subconsciously sometimes he would graze a spot on his body where it used to be broken or badly injured.

_Here to stay with me forever..._

Soon Tony finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_Im breathing in, breathing out_

Tony woke to the sound to the pilot announcing there descent. Tony looked out the window and saw that he was here, a start to his new beginning.

_Aint that what, its all about?_

After the landing Tony got up and reached up for his back pack that was in the slot above his head. He then followed the other people out of the plane.

_Livin life, crazy loud_

Once he was in the Washington Air Port, he immediately tried to find a way out before security found it strange a child is not rushing to greet family.

_Like I have the right to_

Once outside he took a look around, it was amazing and so much different from New York.

_Know my words, in my mouth_

He saw a Taxi and hailed him, telling him the address that he had memorized. Even though he said to himself he wouldn't go there yet, he just wanted to be sure that is were he was still at also it would be nice to put a face to a name.

_Nothing left to figure out_

As they drove through Washington Tony looked out of his window amazed. It was exhilarating, even though he had been to many places all over the world he had never been to Washington DC, his father always went though but never took him saying that it was not a vacation and he would just get board and make him angry.

_But I don't think I'll ever break through_

Tony's smile faded some again he still couldn't get his father out of his head no matter what he did it seemed everything reminded him of him.

_The ghost of you..._

He remembered the words that he had yelled at him many a time in a drunken rage.

_One of these days I'll wake up from this,_

He remembers the pain he felt when his father struck him not just the physical pain thought the emotional one too, the one that said this is his own father that had hit him.

_Bad dream I'm dreaming_

He used to think that he was just having a nightmare but the next hit, just reminded him that it was not a dream.

_One of these days I'll pray that I'll be _

Tony desperately tried to just forget everything, he didn't want to remember any of this he just wasn't to start over without his father.

_Over, over, over you_

Even though he felt like this there was still a part of him that remembered the man he used to be, and he also desperately wished for that man back.

_One of these days I'll realize that,_

Tony felt a tear slip down his cheek and he angrily whiped it away, DiNozzo's don't cry.

_Im so tired of feeling confused_

The Taxi finally stopped in front of a nice house, and Tony paid him and got out. Looking at the house with the number on the side as the same number he memorized from all the letters that was sent to him.

_But for now, there's a reason that your still hereIn my heart..._

Even though again he promised himself he would not, could not come to this person until he was ready. Like when he was on his own two feet, but he had to be honest with himself, he was almost out of money nowhere to stay and he's only a twelve year old kid.

_Im breathing in, breathing out_

Tony headed up the short drive that could probably hold two cars at least.

_Aint that what, its all about?_

He got to the side walk and started counting to the door.

_Livin life, crazy loud_

He got halfway to the door and froze for a second.

_Like I have the right to_

Tony took a deep breath and took a few more steps that landed him right in front of the door.

_No more words, in my mouth_

Tony then realized he had no idea what he would tell him, had no idea what he would say to him.

_Nothing left for me to doubt_

Taking another deep breath Tony shook himself and knocked. Just then he remembered a time that he had knocked on his fathers office door so early in the morning and how that ended out, and he got instantly scared. But then breathed and reminded himself that this was not his father.

_But I don't think I'll ever break through_

Dang it! He did it again, just forget him.

_The ghost of you..._

Just then the door opened and Tony held his breath and just looked at the person that stood there holding the door open who had a shocked look on his face.

_Breathing in, breathing out_

_Breathing in, breathing out_

"Hello mister Gibbs.." Tony felt tears come dang it he wasn't supposed to cry.

_Like I have the right to_

"I hope you don't mind…I…" Tony's voice broke as he was on the verge of tears.

_Know my words, in my mouth_

Tony could have swore he lost the ability to talk but he took a deep breath a plowed on.

_Nothing left, to figure out_

"Can I live with you please?" Tony brokenly cried and whispered, Gibbs by this point had fallen to his knees and taken the child into his arms. All the bruises, broken bones, and scratches started to appear then as well, like they were always there. Making them very obvious and apparent.

_But I dont think I'll ever break through_

"I had to get way from him, I can't live with him anymore, please Mr. Gibbs." Tony whispered into Gibbs shoulder. Gibbs rubbed his back.

"You'll never have to go back I promise Tony." Gibbs whispered back.

_The ghost of you...!_

_THE END (OR MAYBE NOT TELL ME IF I SHOULD CONTINUE IT OR NOT.) : ) _

_SONG: Selena Gomez~Ghost of You_


	2. Carry Me Through

**WARNING TEAR ALERT! I am soo sorry for the wait. Just to let you know ahead of time this is the hardest chapter in any of my stories that I have ever had to write for I have never cried before while writing a story. I have cried while reading a story or watching a sad scene on TV but never have I ever cried while writing a story until now, and wow, I didn't think I had it in me to finish this chapter but I did. Please read hope you like.**

**Oh and sorry ahead of time for any mistakes.**

**Chapy 2**

**Carry Me Through**

**12 Years Ago**

Isabelle Paddington laughed as she fell back into the arms that held her and the person placed a soft kiss on the side of her neck. She tuned in his arms to lay on top of him, as they both lay in the middle of central park, they were both 17 and on summer break.

"Jethro must you really go at the end of the summer?" Isabelle asked as she kissed him.

"Yes, my uncle only has me for the summer, then I head back to Stillwater to finish out the school year. But after that maybe we could meet back up again?" Jethro asked.

"Maybe." Isabelle said with doubt in her voice, Jethro heard it but didn't say anything. They lad there the whole night and in the morning Jethro left as promised and Isabelle went back to her fathers estate. When she got there her father was fuming.

"Isabelle Paddington! Where the hell have you been!" Richard Paddington raged on as he led her into his study. "Never mind that we have business to discuss." Richard said as he sat in his desk char. "Have you decided yet."

Isabelle held her head high. "I do not wish to marry someone whom I do not love!" She held her ground as her father just nodded his head.

"To bad, we have already arranged for you to marry Michael DiNozzo on your birthday next week." Her father said then left through room. Isabelle sat there as tears slowly leaked from her eyes. She placed her hand over her stomach, she did not wish to tell Jethro for he had a future still while hers was gone and she knew that if she had told Jethro he would have tried to do the right thing, but she knew her father would not allow it. This deal with the DiNozzo's was to important to him. The only option she had was to marry Michael DiNozzo, she knew he really didn't seem all that bad all those times that they had meet. He seemed like a descent guy, as he tried to woo her with a smile. But there was something about him she did not like, maybe it was the intensity in his eyes when he looked at, for she knew he could be capable of a lot if he put his mind to it. Where as when she looked in Jethro's eyes he had a gentleness in his eyes that told her he would never be capable of doing anything to harm her. She whiped her eyes then headed to her bedroom for the rest of the night.

**4 Years Ago**

_How long will this take?  
><em>_How much can I go through?_

Everyone was dressed in black, some were crying others had deep frowns on there faces. Tony just stared straight ahead looking at the coffin as they lowered it into the ground.

"_Mom, please don't go." Tony whispered as he gripped his mothers hand. "Please don't leave me."_

"_M'sorry Anthony, you be a good boy you hear." Tony bit back a sob and nodded his head. "Anthony I need you to listen to me, ok do not tell you father of this." Tony nodded his head confused but agreed. His mother reached over to the dresser nearby and grabbed a piece of paper there and put it in Tony's hand and closed his little fingers around it. In that moment she realized how young her child was and wished that she would not leave him but had no choice. _

"_This is an address and a number I want you to remember don't forget it. Whenever you need for whatever reason you call or write this person. You understand Anthony?" Isabelle asked her son. Tony nodded and wiped the tears that fell away with the sleeve of his shirt._

_My heart, my soul aches  
><em>_I don't know what to do_

Jethro got out of his car and looked around at the people that where there at her funeral. He went around the other side of the car and opened the door for his wife. After making sure she got out ok he went around and got his daughter out of the backseat car seat. Dressed in black the family made there way to the funeral that they had gotten a letter to attend from her attorney stating that she had ordered him to make sure they were invited out of spite of her father and husband.

At the end of the speeches and when they were lowering the casket Jethro looked around as people started to disperse, all except a young boy who just stood and watched as the casket went into the ground. In the short letters that Isabelle had sent him over the years she had told him that she had a son, she never did say how old. Now that Jethro saw how young he was Jethro felt bad for him for he knew what it felt like to lose a mother at a young age. Jethro was about to go over to the boy to talk to him when Kelley started to fuss. He took her from Shannon, who nodded and understood the unspoken words. She headed over to the boy as Jethro went to take Kelley to the bathrooms to change with the diaper bag.

_I bend but don't break  
>And somehow I'll get through<em>

Shannon came to stand in front of the boy then kneeled down to his level.

"Hey there." She said placing her hand on his arm. "What's your name?" The boy just stared through her as he answered in a dead voice.

"Anthony DiNozzo Ma'am."

"Anthony's a mouth full is it alright if I call you Tony?" Shannon asked the boy nodded numbly. Shannon looked around wondering where this boys father was and why he was not here with him in the boys most crucial moment when he needed him most. Then something shifted in the boy something that Shannon was not expecting.

"NOOOoooo!" Tony Brokenly cried out and pushed past Shannon, he pushed past the funeral people as the tried to lower the casket. "Stop! PLEASE! NO! PLEASE DON'T!" The boy fell to his knees at the edge of the grave and berried his head in his hands and knees sobbing. "Mommy! Mom! Mommy please!" Shannon put a hand over her mouth as tears of her own made there way down her cheek. Just then Jethro came up behind her and placed his free hand on her back. She immediately turned into him and placed her face into his neck.

"Jethro it's so heartbreaking he's hurting so much and I…I just don't know what to do." She cried as they could still hear Tony's sobs in the back ground. Jethro handed Kelley over and was about to head over to the boy when all a sudden a man with a black suit and white gloves came up to the boy. Jethro was close enough to hear what was said.

"Anthony your father wishes you home now." The man said.

"Alfred please no, please, please, please, please." The man bent down and brought the boy into his arms.

_'cause I have you_

"Sh sh Anthony, everything will be alright, your mother is with the Angels now you must know that she is ok and happy now." Alfred said as he rubbed the boys back. "She would also want you to be happy as well." Tony continued to cry into his shoulder and Alfred picked the boy up and carried him over to the car. Jethro watched and then went back over to his family and ushered them back to there car when he was stopped all a sudden by a man in an expensive suit.

_And if I have to crawl  
>Will you crawl too<em>

"Excuse me sir, are you by any chance Leroy Jethro Gibbs?" The man asked Jethro nodded slowly.

"Ah good, I'm Angelo Francis, I'm Isabelle's attorney, In her will other then making sure that you were here I was also asked to personally give you this." The lawyer said as he handed an envelope over to Jethro with his name on it in Isabelle's hand writing. "Now I already know what this letter says, but I will give you time to come to terms of what is inside of it, so here is my card when you ready." The Lawyer said and then left. Jethro looked down at the letter and then opened it.

_I stumble and I fall  
>Carry me through<em>

Jethro,

If you are reading this then I am probably already gone. I am so sorry, about everything, the things we promised each other, everything just didn't go the way either of us had planed. I wanted to be the one to tell you though so you didn't have to find out another way or not at all. Anthony is your son, I am so sorry I would have told you sooner if my father hadn't been so persistent. Anthony is a good boy he's strong, smart and athletic. I wish there had been something I could have done sooner to make sure you would get custody of Anthony when I passed but with my father and my husband Michael watching me as a hawk, I could do nothing more then this. When Michael found out Anthony was not his he went ballistic and things were not pretty, now since I know you before you pull a gun on him, he never laid a hand on Anthony I made sure of that in the last months that he found out and I was alive. But I fear without me there now there is nothing in between them, Jethro you need to fight for custody of him. Please if not for me then for our son.

Sincerely,

Isabelle Paddington DiNozzo

_The wonder of it all  
>Is you<br>See me through_

Jethro took a deep breath and swiped a hand down his face. He put the letter in his pocket and got in the car Shannon asked what happened, he told her he'd tell her everything when they got home.

**Three Day's Later**

_Oh Lord, where are you?  
>Do not forget me here<br>I cry in silence  
>Can you not see my tears?<br>When all have left me  
>And hope has disappeared<br>You find me here_

Jethro had talked to the attorney who had given him the letter, they discussed how since his name was not on the birth certificate and because the mother had just died it would be a very hard and long case. Jethro just got inside from getting the mail, he sorted through it and stopped when he saw Childs hand writing.

Dear Mr. Gibbs

You probably do not know me, my name is Anthony DiNozzo. I live in New York, I was told I could write you anytime for whatever reason. It took me time but I think I can talk now. My mom died three days ago, I haven't seen my dad in three days, I don't know what to do. I feel all alone like no one loves me anymore. Did mom really go to the Angels and if she did why didn't she take me. I miss her a lot. I have to go now Marry my nanny says I have to get ready for bed.

Your Friend

Anthony DiNozzo

Jethro smiled sadly at the letter, he set the rest on the counter and went into the living room returning with a piece of paper and pencil. He sat down at the kitchen table and started a return letter.

**4 Years Later**

_When everything I was is lost  
>I have forgot where you have not<br>When I am lost you have not lost me_

Jethro was at his wits end it had been four years since he found out he had a son and in that time he hadn't even been able to see him except for at the funeral. Mr. DiNozzo's attorney's were good they have been able to hold him back from getting his son, but Gibbs was far from giving in. They had at first said that because the boy had just lost his mother it was not right to take him away from the only father he had ever none as well. Now there were tons of other excuses, even Mr. Paddington seemed to be against him, while Isabelle's lawyer teamed with his own Lawyer were pretty good, Those two men had a lot of money to hand out for lawyers.

He still wrote to Tony continuously, he pretty much knew more about the boy then Mr. DiNozzo and honestly he had a right to it, for it was his son. But all of those letters he had gotten from the boy, could not have prepared him for when the boy was right there standing on his door step. He was in tears begging to live with him, begging his own father to live with him, and how wrong was that so Jethro fell to his knees and grabbed the boy in a hug and told him he never had to go back to that man. As Tony continued to cry some things were revealed and Jethro's stomach recoiled but he continued to hold the boy. He lifted him up and shut the door, then carried him into the living room.

"Tony son, please calm down your going to make yourself pass out." Jethro soothed as the boy laid on his chest.

"I love you dad." Tony whispered.

"How did you know?" Jethro asked shocked, because Michael DiNozzo had made sure to tell him that Anthony did not know the truth and would never be told.

"Marry, she told me the truth, all of it, everything yesterday. That is what spurred me to come among other things." Tony whispered and his grip on Jethro's shirt loosened a bit but not much. Jethro nodded and ran a soothing hand through Tony's hair then kissed the side of his head. This was how it was supposed to be this felt right.

_And if I have to crawl  
>Will you crawl too<br>I stumble and I fall  
>Carry me through<br>The wonder of it all  
>Is you<br>See me through_

**Do not worry I will be continuing this so it is TBC and there will be flashbacks and present times in next chapter same as this you like leave a review!**

Song~Superchick-Crawl (Carry Me Through)


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